


Someone Who Depends On Him

by bilgegungoren00



Series: A Boy from Daxam and a Girl from Krypton (KaraMel) [18]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas traditions, F/M, Mistletoe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 21:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8914078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bilgegungoren00/pseuds/bilgegungoren00
Summary: Kara struggles with explaining what a mistletoe is to Mon-El.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> So guess what? I wrote a KaraMel fanfic in the middle of my exam week! But honestly, after that chemistry exam that went surprisingly well, I feel like I deserved some down time, and what better way to spend it by writing, right? Anyway, I sure enjoyed this, so I hope you enjoy it as well!

Kara felt dizzy as she stared at the little, green and red plant in Mon-El’s hand, her heart hammering in her chest as she failed to find an answer to Mon-El’s seemingly innocent question: “So, what are these for?”

_Mistletoe_ , her brain thought, as if it was replaying a record. _It’s a plant you hang in Christmas for good luck, and there’s a tradition in which people kiss under it_. She knew she ought to say something similar, or at least tell him about the good luck part, but her tongue was tied and the not-so logical part of her brain was freaking out, telling her to just lie, run away, pretend she never heard the question, or laugh it off. So she was frozen, not being able to do anything except just standing there.

Mon-El knitted his brows as he ducked his chin to look at Kara’s eyes. “Kara?” he asked, “are you okay?” Trying to snap out of her stupor, Kara blinked several times before lifting her chin, finding herself eye-to-eye with Mon-El. Air left her lungs as her already fluttering heart tripled its beat, her cheeks flushed and she suddenly wanted to just forget everything and fling herself on him, pressing her lips on his. She’d wanted it for some time now, but she’d managed to repress it before when the possibility wasn’t…staring at her right in the face.

Blinking again, she shook her head and stepped back just to put some distance between her and Mon-El. No, she couldn’t kiss him. Not right then, not later, not _ever_ maybe. It wasn’t because she wasn’t _interested_ in him, but it was because… Because she started depending on him way more than she’d initially thought. It wasn’t just about friendship. It was about understanding, about having someone to talk to about being a superpowered alien, about looking at someone’s eyes and knowing the person in front of you knew full well how it felt like losing your whole family, your planet, and try to find a life in another one. She felt more at ease with Mon-El than she did with anyone else. That was not to say she didn’t like her sister, or James and Winn, or appreciated them for always trying to be there for her, but there were some things they couldn’t begin to understand and Mon-El did.

She wasn’t ready to lose that. She _couldn’t_ lose that because of her most probably unreciprocated feelings. Why would Mon-El even want to settle down to a relationship with her when he could have any girl he wanted? When he could be with a _different_ girl every week? He wouldn’t. No matter how much Mon-El had changed, Kara knew how a Daxamite was raised, with arranged marriages and all, so she couldn’t imagine why he would want a long-term relationship when he was just freed from forcibly having one on Daxam.

“Yeah, yeah I’m okay,” she lied, shaking her head. Forcing out a nervous laugh, she tucked her hair behind her ear. “Why wouldn’t I be?” Mon-El raised his brows as if he didn’t believe one bit of any of that.

“I don’t know. You kind of looked like you just saw a ghost.”

“No….” Kara said, chuckling again as she shook her head and crossed her arms. Clearing her throat, she willed her voice to sound normal. “I was just surprised that this was in the box.” She reached for the mistletoe in Mon-El’s hand, feeling his fingers brushing hers when she took it. She pressed her lips together to hide her gasp.

“Why?”

“Because it… It isn’t about Christmas,” she blurted out suddenly, almost crushing the delicate leaves of the mistletoe in her fist. “I mean, it’s about another holiday in the year which is far, far away, so nothing…nothing you need to be worried about.” Nodding, she turned around, trying to find a place to put the mistletoe, but she ended up just staring around the room, not knowing what to do. She bit her lip so hard that it hurt.

_I should’ve just told him_ , she scolded herself in her mind as she stuffed the mistletoe into a drawer. _I should’ve told him and get done with it. It wasn’t like he’d even think about kissing me under it. He’d think it would be just a ridiculous tradition, just like he thinks celebrating the birth of a baby that only_ may have _happened 2000 plus years ago is ridiculous._

Yet it was too late. She couldn’t just turn around and tell him the truth. What would she offer him as an explanation for lying? _I was scared because I thought you’d kiss me? I was scared because I was thinking about kissing you? I was scared because you mean much more to me than I thought and I can’t lose you because of my stupid feelings?_ Yeah, if kissing Mon-El wouldn’t make her lose him, any of those excuses would.

“There’s another holiday?” Mon-El complained, throwing himself on the couch as he stared at the Christmas tree waiting to be decorated. “What’s that one about? Birth of a tree?” He gestured at the Christmas tree, managing to earn a smile from Kara as she rolled her eyes. She finally managed to relax, letting off all that tension when the mistletoe was tucked away safely.

“No, silly. I’ll tell you about it when the time comes.” _Which won’t come for a year, so here’s hoping you won’t remember it._ “Now, are you up for decorating the tree?” She looked expectantly at Mon-El as the young Daxamite sighed and stood up, straightening up his jacket.

“Let’s do it,” he said almost exasperatedly, yet there was a glimmer in his eyes that suggested Kara that he was enjoying the day just as much as she did.

* * *

Kara knew it’d all blow up in the end. The lie she told Mon-El wasn’t something she could hide, especially with Alex getting drunk almost as soon as she and her girlfriend, Maggie, arrived. Alex would of course notice the mistletoe wasn’t in its usual place, hanging above them in the living room. And she would _of course_ mention it without a second thought.

“Kara, where’s the mistletoe?” she asked, pointing at the ceiling. Kara’s smile froze on her face as her stomach lurched. _No_ , she thought, glancing at Mon-El anxiously. _Not now. Don’t do this to me_.

With Alex’s words, James and Winn glanced up as well, a frown appearing on James’s face. Maggie’s brows were just raised, wondering what was going on.

Clearing her throat, Kara tried to avoid the question. “What’s where?” she asked innocently at the same time Mon-El asked, “What’s a mistletoe?”

“Kara didn’t tell you?” Alex said bewilderedly. “It’s a plant with green leaves and red berry like fruits. It’s a tradition to hang it on Christmas.” Kara’s shoulders slumped with her sister’s definition, closing her eyes. _Yes, she did it to me_.

She couldn’t even face Mon-El as her sister nudged her with her elbow. “Remember that time two years ago when Winn tried to trick you into kissing him under the mistletoe? It was _hilarious_.” Winn’s eyes bulged out of their sockets as he coughed, almost spitting his beer.

“I did _not_ try to kiss Kara.” Alex was laughing.

“Oh yes, you did,” she said before she turned to Maggie, wrapping her arm protectively around the young detective. “I was kind of hoping it would be here, you know. It brings good luck to kiss your lover under it.” Yes, Alex was definitely drunk, it was obvious from the way Maggie blushed as she glared at her and Alex just laughed it off, but Kara didn’t pay attention to any of that. _It brings good luck to kiss your lover under it_. Her mind was stuck at those words.

_Oh, Alex, did you have to say that too_ , she couldn’t help thinking as her eyes followed Mon-El. She realized he was looking at her too, but not with joy, nor a smile, nor any kind of mischief in them. He looked… _hurt_.

Kara opened her mouth but nothing came out. She could hear others talking about something around her, yet she couldn’t pay attention one bit. Her focus was on Mon-El, and the painful way his lips twisted as he tucked his hands in his pockets, looking away. He mumbled something about needing some fresh air before he went out of the balcony, ignoring Kara’s gaze on his back. The room fell into silence for a couple of seconds after his depart, before Alex turned to Kara.

“What’s wrong with him?” Kara gulped, not knowing what to say as she looked behind Mon-El. “Did I say something?”

“Kara?” She blinked out of her stupor with Winn’s voice, realizing tears had started wetting her face when he looked at her anxiously. “Is everything okay?” She could only shake her head no before freeing her arm from his grip.

“I have to talk to Mon-El,” she mumbled as she made her way to the balcony, only to be stopped by her sister. Alex looked more sober than she’d ever been as she eyed Kara anxiously.

“What’s going on?” she asked softly, her hand rubbing Kara’s shoulder soothingly. Kara shook her head again, biting her lip.

“I hurt him,” was the only thing she had to say before Alex let her go, gesturing her to go after Mon-El.

* * *

Mon-El realized he really didn’t know what he was doing as he stared at the night sky. Or really, where had he done wrong? Did he say something wrong to Kara? Did he act in any way to make her uncomfortable? Did she realize he liked her, and since she didn’t want to be with him, she’d lied about the mistletoe?

He didn’t know the reason, the only thing he knew was that it hurt. It hurt much more than he imagined it would. He’d never experienced heartbreak; he hadn’t had anyone he cared about enough for them to break his heart, let alone having an actual relationship. This pain was new to him, which was why it probably hurt so much more than any physical pain he’d endured. And he had no idea how to ease an emotional wound. He couldn’t just ignore what Kara had done. He couldn’t just ignore the cuts on his heart, bleeding in his chest, making him feel breathless, so much so that he wanted to rip it out and throw it away. Did it feel like this for everyone, he wondered, or did he care about Kara way too much? Was it his fault?

He didn’t even have to answer that question. _Of course_ it was his fault. If Kara didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell him what mistletoe was, it was because _he_ made her uncomfortable.

Shutting his eyes, he gripped the railing as he shook his head, trying to will the tears back. He didn’t want to cry, not in front of everyone, and especially not somewhere Kara could hear him. He loosened his grip though when he heard the railing bending under his fingers. He still wasn’t that good at controlling his powers.

“Did I tell you why I liked Christmas?” Mon-El was startled with Kara’s voice coming from right behind him. He had no idea how he didn’t hear her come, yet when he glanced over his shoulder, there she was, standing shyly in the middle of the balcony. Her hands were clasped together in front of her, her caramel colored hair tumbling down her shoulders like a waterfall falling down; graceful yet fierce, and her cheeks were flushed red in the cold winter weather. She didn’t have anything on except her sweater and leggings, and he wasn’t in much of a different situation, yet something pulled the strings of his heart to see her like that, even though she couldn’t feel the cold. She was absolutely beautiful, without needing any make up or beautiful dresses. She just had to be…herself.

“May I join you?” Kara asked as she walked up to him. Her voice was soft and inviting, and Mon-El wanted nothing more to get lost in it, in her, yet he knew he had to hold back. So he only shrugged as he turned back to the city, the lights suddenly seeming dull after seeing Kara.

“Well, it _is_ your balcony.” Kara’s smile faded a bit before she straightened herself up and smiled again.

“I was talking about why I liked Christmas,” she changed the subject, her arm resting on the railing. Mon-El didn’t say anything as she continued. “It always seemed like… After I got on earth, everything felt strange to me. This wasn’t my home, my planet, wherever I looked I saw something unfamiliar, and I never felt like I belonged in it. Not until Christmas time came, and the Danvers started decorating the house with all the lights, red and green and gold and white, put up a tree with a huge star on it, with wrapped up gifts underneath. I didn’t understand what it was, but I could feel the buzz of excitement in the house. So Eliza explained what it was to me. I remember her exact words: ‘It’s a time to be together as a family,’ she’d said, and she didn’t exclude me. They included me to everything they did, putting up the tree, decorating the house, even exchanging gifts. It was the first time I felt like I _belonged_ somewhere on earth, like I was a part of something. I might not be a Christian, or religious really, but Christmas has always reminded me of family.” Kara took a deep breath, her eyes on Mon-El. “And now that includes you.” Mon-El couldn’t help glancing at the young Kryptonian as he lifted his brows.

“Me?” he said bewilderedly. Kara laughed as if he said something ridiculous, and put her hand on his arm.

“Of course it does. And it would be a real shame if you didn’t come in and enjoy it with us.” Mon-El almost said yes. He wanted to say yes, so badly, but…but he just couldn’t forget it. He just couldn’t forget how Kara lied about the mistletoe, and how uncomfortable he must be making her. So he just shook his head.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he said almost nonchalantly, but the bitterness was audible as he turned his eyes away. He still could feel Kara’s confusion.

“Uncomfortable?”

“Why else wouldn’t you tell me about the mistletoe?” Mon-El said, laughing almost hysterically. Kara winced. “You know, you didn’t really have to lie. If you didn’t want to kiss me, you could’ve just told me.” Mon-El’s cheeks were flushed, out of anger or shame he didn’t know, but he didn’t take his words back. They were the damn truth, no matter how much it hurt, no matter how embarrassed he felt, they were the truth.

“It wasn’t about that,” Kara whispered suddenly, biting her lip. “It was because I was scared _you_ wouldn’t want it.” This time, it was Mon-El’s turn to be surprised. He blinked once, and then twice, looking at Kara, waiting for her to take her words back, or laugh, because it couldn’t be anything more than a joke. How could it be true? How could Kara…

“You want to kiss me?” Kara’s cheeks were a bright shade of red as she forced a smile and opened her hand. And there it was, the mistletoe, resting in it.

“Well, I didn’t bring this just to carry it.” Mon-El was speechless. He looked at the plant, and then at Kara, and then at the plant again, yet neither of them disappeared. It was really happening. It was happening.

“But I thought you…”

“I’m sorry about that. And lying too,” she added, pushing her hair back. “I just didn’t want to push you into something and then lose you, because Mon-El, you… You mean so much to me. You understand me in a way no one does, and I wasn’t ready to lose that.” She shrugged as if it was nothing, but the tightness in that shrug exposed her act. “I just didn’t realize I was hurting you more like this.”

Neither Mon-El nor Kara didn’t say anything for a moment before Mon-El grabbed her hand with the mistletoe, lifting it above their heads, his eyes never leaving Kara’s. He took a shaky breath.

“Is this… Is this how it was supposed to be?” he asked as the mistletoe was right above their heads. Kara’s eyes were shining with hope and excitement as she nodded slightly.

“Yea—“ Before she could even finish that word, Mon-El’s lips were on hers, devouring them, and the mistletoe was long forgotten as it fell down in the ground as the couple’s arms went around each other. Mon-El held Kara close, burying his fingers in her hair, while Kara grabbed his jacket and didn’t let him pull back even for one inch. The kiss… It was everything Mon-El had wanted, _could_ want. It was scorching yet also relieving, it was passionate yet soft, it erased the past yet opened a clean page for the future. When their lips parted, all those feelings still lingered as Mon-El pulled back to look at Kara. She looked breathless, yet her eyes were shining with a smile as she lazily stroked Mon-El’s hair.

“Does that mean that…that you want me too?” Kara’s laugh was worth the ridiculousness of the question. The woman shook her head as she cupped Mon-El’s cheeks and nodded.

“Yes, Mon-El. It means I want to be with you too.”


End file.
